By Donald John Trump

It all started out so very slowly.  Just fun.  I thought Russia was a dead country.  So anyway, I was hosting a Beauty Pageant in Russia in 2013 when my future Russian handlers saw me “accidentally” walk into the dressing room of the contestants.  It was at that exact moment that they knew I could be “compromised” to their advantage.  I was a person of weak moral values that could be “persuaded.”  You see the Russians are very smart and find a target and slowly work with that victim, and get them in over their heads until they can’t say “no” to the official needs of the Russian State.  This process can take years but the ultimate payoff to the Russian network can be immense.

At that moment in the dressing room, my Russian handlers knew from their KGB training that I could be broken.  I had a weakness, a perversion, and that was looking at young girls.  They knew that in the words of former KGB agent, Valimer Putin, that the Russian prostitutes are the best in the world.  These girls would break me open like a giant fat walnut.

I was going back to my hotel room when the bellhop I had generously tipped the day before, and I never do this type of stuff, you know tip like that, but this time it paid off bigly, so anyway he asked if I would like to upgrade my suite for no extra charge.  We got there and the bellboy indicated he had arranged a couple of girls he knew, “very safe, no disease” and very discrete.  No charge, just a “tip” if I liked it.

This of course is the famous “golden shower” that came out in November 2016 to the American public.  A hot tub scene with two naked girls and one pees over my head.  An amazing, huge party!  Believe me, that is an experience!  I could go on about that night, I thought I might have a stroke, but even I am a little embarrassed about what these “girls” do.   Putin was right.

The bottom line is that the Russians are a group of mafia thugs.  They tricked me, bigly.  The truth is I never saw it coming.  You know I am a man of the world, I know the “Art of the Deal.”   But I walked right into this one, like some loser would.  There was a video my handlers told me later.  I thought bullshit; how wouldn’t the camera fog up?   Months later they even showed me, it went all the way up to Putin.  I got scared.  They said it would never be made public but apparently the British MI6 agent got a copy.  Asshole!

I did a lot of things on Long Island with Jeff Epstein who was later convicted of underage sex stuff (  But I got away with all of it.  I was a young jerk then who thought he “ruled” New York City.

Yet, this stuff was different; the Russians are very malicious.

But I have to be loyal to them.  Like that old song, I owe my soul to the company store.

Over the course of years, more things happened.  Some stock tips on oil deals.  All sort of innocent and untraceable.  Hobnobbing with Russian billionaires across the globe.  Then my deal in Florida on the “white elephant” the largest home ever built in the Sunshine State.  The locals called it ugly.   It sat there unoccupied for years.  It was bigly big, oh, but so HUGE.  But the floor plan had no purpose or beauty.  Just stuff added on to add ons.  It wouldn’t move on the market.  I was told to pay $40 million for it, because there was a “guaranteed buyer at more.”  I balked at that amount, it was clearly too much.  But the Deutsche Bank forwarded the money.  Good people there completely untraceable.  I was sweating bullets because the “guaranteed” buyer never came forward until a year later at $100 million dollars.  Boom bang, the Art of the Deal.  It was the old #2 guy at the KGB right under Colonel Putin.  Now a Russian billionaire—his fortune made in believe it or not fertilizer.  You can’t make this stuff up…..

So Wilbur Ross, my brand new Commerce Secretary, on the board of the Bank of Cyprus. And at least 50 percent of that bank is Russian-owned.  Laundered money and the like.  But a great way to do my projects.  That’s how the Florida deal go closed and I’m off the hook.  Later my $500-600 million dollar loan at, can’t remember at these figures, that’s the loan at Deutsche Bank.   And that’s forgiven.   The whole thing was done fast and off the books.  I’m thinking no one can ever find out.  But the Russians knew and they never forget.

Reference Rachel Maddow’s MSNBC show February 27, 2017:

So the Russian connections in my Trump Administration: Paul Manafort, Robert Stone, Carter Page, Michael Flynn, Rex Tillerson, son-in-law Jared Corey Kushner, Ivanka, Wilbur Ross, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions, maybe the list should be of people who do not have connections?

I think Betsy DeVos may be related to the Russian scandal from her brother Erik Prince’s security contracts…..

Oh well, its been a lot of fun, believe me.